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SELF-CONTROL:

Thinking changes with time as man changes and becomes more mature. Once I used to think, to run away from the object of attachment, to turn away from the object which allures me, to try to control myself by turning my back on that object would ultimately take me to my desired goal of detachment and self-control. But how wrong I was. Now when I think, I find that to have that self-control, to detach oneself from an object, to stop running after the mirage, one has to face it. FACE THE CHALLENGE.  to turn back is easy but it never helps to overcome the weakness. The weakness still remains. Suppression of desires leads to more agony, more pain. To overcome the pain, one has to go through it. Let the obstacles or the object of desire be right in front of you, and that is the test of your SELF and your self-control. To flow with the emotions, to do whatever we feel like, is what everyone can do,but to control, to develop that will power, when the easy, pleasure giving things surround you always, is very hard. But once one acquires that self-control, once one wins his own MIND, he achieves the ability to win the world.

PAIN AND PURITY:

How do we get rid of the pain caused by a loss? The loss is hard to bear, but that pain must have made the inner being very pure as is said in Hindi, 'sona tapne par aur khara hota hai
' meaning, 'more you burn the gold, purer it becomes'.
That pain caused by the loss has given the strength to cope up. Time is a great healer. Pain subsides with time and the loss is felt less. As long as there is life, there will be losses and gains. A loss in someway results in a gain. Suffering somewhere makes a man more pure , more genuine and a better human being. The person who has always seen sunshine cannot value it. To value the 'presense' one  has to experience the 'absense'. The loss of a materialistic thing may result in spiritual gain or the loss of a friend may result in the development of a more mature character. The loss of  any relationship definitely gives the capability to deal with other relationships better. Every loss is associated with a positive outcome. Every cloud has a silver lining.Bearing the pain, bearing the loss at that moment seems impossible. Human mind tries to find different ways to overcome the pain and fill the gap and tries to run away from the reality. Accepting the reality is very hard but to go through that test and to pass the test brings out the inner purity which is hidden deep inside, which gives the strength to bear the pain. So, why to run away from the pain but let's try to bear it as it will bring out that pure being , that pure love in us.